no, i will not be your spotter when you masturbate with a noose around your neck
Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
We were laughing at the passed out guy who had gone to sleep under the car in the McDonald's lot until we realized it was you.
Someone wrote Kyle's bitch on me too. I dont even know who Kyle is.
See, not all bad decisions involve my penis.
I woke up with a fake mustache stuck to my chest and I can't even hold down water.
Dude, you were dipping oreos in vodka and asking people to try it, "It's so good!"
She keeps asking if I've seen him... For the last time YES... IN MY BED LAST FRIDAY NIGHT AND THEN AGAIN SATURDAY MORNING
Glad to know I rate above a cabbage on the parenting scale.
I was sending him tit pics while watching how to train your dragon 2. It was everything.
Naked. Naked is my favorite color.
It’s a dick. Seen one, seen em all. Unless it spews a fountain of tequila, I don’t need to see yours.
He fucked me harder than I've ever been fucked before and afterwards he started crying and profusely apologizing to god and baby Jesus for his sin.
i was ready to conquer the fucking world. i would have fought vin deisel to the death without hesitation
Whose the chick running for dorm president promising bigger dicks and softer toilet paper? That’s who I m voting for
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