Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(818): View more from California

got some bad news about ur virginity. she didnt make it thru the night

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(701): View more from North Dakota

two words: fractured penis. two more: emergency room.

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(815): View more from Illinois

the extent of background information i have on her is minimal, but it will get me in her pants

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(203): View more from Connecticut

Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.

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(513): View more from Ohio

he made a joke about you fucking his daughter...i think youre golden

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(337): View more from Louisiana

Not going outside. I may melt into a puddle of wine

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(507): View more from Minnesota

I vaguely remember chanting "USA" at the pool when we were talking to the Frenchies.

(1-507): View more from Minnesota

We were pointing at fat people and chanting USA.

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(413): View more from Massachusetts

Never in a million years thought I would have to put jello shot recipe/equation into an excel spreadsheet

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(+44): View more from United Kingdom

Is it acceptable to respond to a declaration of love with 'and I love your dick'? Asking for a friend who shares a name and possibly a phone number with me. Entirely coincidental.

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