HIV tests are more positive than that guy
This is a mass text: my birthday is tomorrow, and I want a full day of birthday sex. Send me your availabities. Time slots begin at noon
I incognito puked under the VIP table. Did Jersey proud.
we were canoeing in the lake and i asked if he was too drunk for this, and he said "don't worry about it, i'm half native american"
I'm okay.. I had a good heart to heart with the cab driver Raheem - it's going to be our year.
I just woke up to pictures of every angle of his dick I'll ever need to see.
He just kept screaming "I have democratic immunity" as the cops dragged him into the car.
I hoped the great care he put into rolling a blunt would translate to my vagina.
At this point all my Tinder matches are telling me I'll be fucking the whole male population of UMass '17.
My name will be tattooed on his ass by sunday.
He stopped me mid blowjob and asked me to take off my hat. He said it made him feel like Neil Young was going down on him.
I'm no longer puke free since 2013 am I.
After last night I am convinced that you are the human embodiment of alcoholism and bad decisions.
i fucked his best friend. once right next door to him. i'm pretty sure that could be called sweet revenge.
I woke up in a bathtub full of green and blue Nickelodeon slime! wtf?!
Randomize
