This cougar at my work just said "big breasts" referring to poultry... Still resulted in a boner.
Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
Missing a small section of hand. Hope your night is going better
If your wondering where your blanket is, I put it on the 2 guys you brought home last night. Their still sleeping outside on the trampoline.
The highlight of my night was definitely explaining the bandaid on my nipple.
The next time i black out make sure i remove the ping pong balls from my weave. Especially before my first day of classes.
Before I roll over explain to me why you're naked and on my floor.
One day. I will touch his hair. I'm curious if it'll be like a soft cloud.
As his dick went in he shouted GOAL at the top of his voice.
At least you get to smell pizza at your job. I just smell despair all day long.
When one of my seniors asked "Rough night?" I realized my poor decisions involving Tuesday night drinking did not go unnoticed.
I didn't think I was even that high but when we were standing in the cop car's headlights I totally forgot how to use my arms
There was a comma in between her and dick. I was calling you a dick. Jesus.
Your vagina felt like having sex with thanksgiving mashed potatoes. The best kind of mashed potatoes
And then he served me a piece of a brownie on his dick. It tasted amazing. Such a good night!
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