I got fucking wesley sniped last night by that power hoe. How'd it end up on your end? Did you canoodle the stripper enough for her to agree to go to formal?
You were telling me to give my phone mouth to mouth so it wouldn't die.. Should i be worried for you?
I blacked out the second time 3am rolled around. My brain was taking a beating trying to do that math.
Yes. I feel like complaining about sex all the time with a 21 year old might be punishable by death of the sex gods so I try not to
You don't seem to appreciate the rareness of his junk.
Send me a picture. I'm more of a visual learner.
Admit it. It's a brilliant plan with hundreds of possible repercutions.
Understatement of the year.
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
Yeah even if I got stabbed it would be worth it
I'm scared because his knowledge of star trek is turning me on
I can't open my mouth wide enough to make full use of this snapchate update
He asked if we were going to take advantage of his drunken state. When we said no he tired to show us what we were missing out on. It was so sad it almost made him cute.
death bed.
death patio
stfu you slept on the patio!?!
Get here now. There’s a guy dressed as Captain Morgan handing out miniature bottles of Captain Morgan.
Who the fuck just called me and played funkytown
It was sweet, he carried me out of my bathroom after I passed out, built me a pillow fort so I wouldn't roll out of bed, set a glass of water on the table, and brought me a mixing bowl to puke in. Totally a sign we're more than just fuckbuddies.
Randomize
