At victory brunch. Have a decent story. Im now eskimo brother with the duke mens basketball teams from 2002 to 2008 and obamas right hand man
you tried to fill your inhaler with vodka
Ong my arms are moving wo my consent
Judging by the fact that he asked me if i wanted to serenade him using cocaine and Taylor Swift I'd say I so have it in the bag.
You christened everyone with a powdered doughnut and then tried to absorb vodka with your nipple.
It was less of a bar, and more of an abandoned basement that some people sell booze in.
I think pretend fucking a camel is a good thing to do downtown. They loved me.
So apparently they remodeled our middle school. Looks like we'll need to find a new roof to play beer pong on this summer.
Where are you? We're in between the guy dressed as a giant inflatable penis and the Justin Bieber lookalike lesbians
Does the penis have a genital wart?
like I licked Molly off a boys palm last night at a bar I think its ok to eat chicken once a week
Hey, what's a nice way of saying "Why'd you send me a picture of your boobs last night" without seeming ungrateful?
If the smell of things stopped me from putting things in my mouth. I wouldn't be popular with Grindr guys.
she is legit trying to fuck me to death between her and work i haven't slept in 3 days and have at least 16 hours to go before sleep is a possibility. can i crash at your place she doesnt know where you live
Just remembered someone sprayed perfume in my mouth last night after convincing me it was vodka and that i tried to herd ducks around campus and bring one home.
If I lock her out of the apartment right now would the neighbors have grounds to sue?
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