I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
He about cried when I ordered pizza online. He said it was a miracle.
Yeah. We was talkin. Its ok. My bed is too filled with pam for sex. Its like a slip and slide of butter product.
Now that I'm 21, I feel like I'm letting North Dakota down by not being drunk everyday
hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
she's throwing a head of lettuce everywhere shouting HEADS UP and trying to get us to play catch with her. i'm scared.
Oh I forgot to tell you that while you were in the bathroom last night I made friends with a gay man named Rodger from Venezuela and he kissed me cheek and told me I "knew how to shake my thing". From now on we go to the bathroom as a team.
The hot guy sitting next to me in the lib is reading a book called "Impersonal sex in public places." How wrong would it be to give him my number when I bounce?
dude i should have never cleaned my ears out while high. theres no going back.
Yeah, if you don't like strip clubs you won't like microwave chimichangas.
Is a 'Dr. Willy Fister Gynecologist' costume appropriate for work?
There's times when I need to be plowed... and I'm ashamed to admit auto correct was able to predict that entire sentence.
Shaving your bikini line at 11 at night in the Walmart bathroom feels trashy no matter why you're doing it.
I didn't wake up drunk this year...I must be getting soft
Yeah I guess quad-fisting Miller Lites just isn't as effective as it used to be
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
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