You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
hey, can i borrow that thing you never use?
what?
your penis
If there's ever a time when I've matured to the point that I don't want to look at camera-phone-titties, go ahead and bury me in a shallow grave by the railroad tracks.
i'm using my hot pot to make jello shots in a muffin tin. i'm never ever graduating.
toilet paper cling ons are not as adorable as the little red cub makes them look on the charmin commercials.
Trying to figure out if I'm the second dude she hooked up with yesterday. I feel like a consolation prize
My glasses are somewhere in your living room. Also, my underwear might be in your bathroom or on or around your porch. Sorry.
i am one more weekend without sex away from dosing him with viagra and locking ourselves into a closet.
My relaxing drive may end up as a surprise bootycall in Pittsburgh. Don't try to stop me.
remember when I told you about my grandma asking me about my sex scars? Less comfortable than that
I was looking at the storm clouds during my run and one oddly resembled ur penis
The guy I screamed at across the bar for booing the Bruins ended up buying me shots I had to explain to him there's not a chance in hell I would ever fuck a Canadian! #Bostonstrong
You know the sex was good when he had to ask which way was north before he left.
I can't trust your balls anymore.
Hahah I’ve never had someone stop me mid-coitus to tell me how amazing I am. Def ego boost.
Randomize
