i just saw an ambulance and a fire truck pull away from the dorms. it appears somebody actually IS feeling shittier than me today.
she sounds like chewbacca in bed
Haha im Trying. This detox stuff tastes nasty. It's bad when the only thing that came to mind when i took the first sip was how good it would be with Vodka
i will be blacked out in the shower. come get me. 20 mins.
Sometimes when I see a shoe on the side of the road, I get a little depressed that I've never partied that hard.
I kept trying to give you water and you kept spitting it back at me. You looked like a camel. People were staring
The staff doesn't like it when you try and take your wheelchair for a joy ride since I've been waiting for an hour and a half.
Romantic bubble bath turned into splash war. We can't be adults about anything.
Let me be the 15% helpful, 85% useless as shit angel on your shoulder.
Talking to him sober hurts my brain
I was out of breath when we were getting started and he offered me his inhaler so he's a keeper
Gay?
German.
Pity.
Why r u in my phone under "the last survivor"?
Can I get my morals surgically removed?
She yelled Carpe Diem when she orgasmed. Is it too early to marry her?
Randomize
