yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
"must pass the hog line" should not only be used in curling. but also when we go out to pick up girls.
Bank of America texted me 7 times in 12 hours to say my balance was below $50. I kept transfering money back in. Then I texted my bank saying that it was okay, i knew what I was doing.
Dude... Hand job in the lake... It was as weird as it sounds.
Ya well my good-girl image was pretty much blown when he found out I'm going to jail soon.
I inadvertently smoked 6 blunts at one time. We just kept passing them around...I didn't know what happened until it was over. I can't walk.
he looks SO much like Drake, I feel like an extreme groupie every time we have sex.
He asked her to marry him and she said yes. There is NO WAY she knows about his penchant for wearing lingerie.
With a breakfast like weed and a fun size twix before a dentist appointment you can see exactly how I handle being an adult
I just used a thesaurus to write a sext...
I woke up to my bra draped over his lamp and a huge bump on my head. apparently, I face planted while having sex in the shower..
you know that australian accents are like the bat signal to my vagina
Dude, you ever snap awake on the toilet at work with that panicked, "How long have I been here?!" feeling??
I woke up in my neighbors backyard with glitter on my teeth and sparklers super glued on my bra. which part was your fault?
I just read my D.A.R.E. essay from 5th grade. I'm having mixed feelings about my previous life choices right now.
Randomize
