I served up a girl her first a2m the other day. You would have been proud.
now i know why i became what i already was.
I'm sorry i'm just too high to handle anything besides pirates of the caribbean right now.
i feel like pocahontas...the disney character not from real chance of love
I feel like my lungs want to punch me in the vagina.
is that even a sentence?
Tinkerbell just flew up to me and tickled my balls. What the fuck did we smoke?
I woke up in an empty bathtub with the wrong brother
In sex ed. they really need to include a lesson on saying tampon in foreign languages, just in case.... Trying to ask the woman at the reception desk, who barely speaks English, for one just turned into an awkward game of charades.
you dont know your limits until you wake up with a black eye and a bruised rib and find out you got ran over by a bicycle last night
Yay! Also. When you're coming down eat waffles and touch yourself. You won't regret it.
The woman in the flower onesie is claiming she hasn't been drinking.
There is a midget in cheetah face paint on a leash here
I had to switch coats with someone at work because you can see the giant sex choke bruise on my neck. Being kinky is hard.
Can I fire a pigeon out of a t shirt gun?
so we have roughly decided that hes the dude all the chicks will bang in college, just so he will do their term papers
Randomize
