We were so bored at work tonight that we were in dry storage taking turns pouring the boxed wine we use for cooking into each others' mouths. I think I'm starting to understand the "problem" aspect of "drinking problem."
You can't have hate sex in a hallway!!
Remember when we were mad at her for brining her mom on spring break? She just won the wet t-shirt contest. I think we owe her an apology.
I just witnessed two drunk midgets fighting over a graham cracker. I can die happy now.
I need to hang out with girls who make more mistakes
In class ... We were just assigned groups for the quarter... Remember that night we took shots from that guys pants? I now know his name
Green mimosas i think yes
We ran out of wine so we are trying the absinthe you brought over from Spain like 3 years ago. Please call me at noon tomorrow. If we die, its your fault
I just tried to text you by typing "whoa" into my contacts.
He told her Jesus wouldnt yell curse or degrade her. He'd just simply shake his head and slap the shit out of her
A few days ago I apparently came up, asked her to make me soup, and handed her a can of coconut milk.
Agreed then we'll really be on our A game tomorrow. And by A I mean alcohol.
we went to go get waffles and then i sucked his dick in a parking lot. average tuesday.
I am going home. I have pee on my pants. Rachel is driving and I and drunk. It is not Rachels pee. It is my pee.
I’m good. I learned that a guy ate the mushrooms that were growing out of his toilet, so there’s that.
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