I was so drunk last night I wanted to download a Busta Rhymes album.
i dont care that its taken 20 hrs to pee without hurting, BEST HATE SEX EVER.
Just threw up in nordstroms while shopping for moms bday with dad. He distracted workers for me. No more tequila
I just walked into my exam wearing a mans tshirt and Alex's size 13 crocs twenty min late carrying only a pencil and my heels...I'm not real
you want your laptop back?
are you giving me my laptop back, or cashing in on our break up sex?
both.
come over.
It's getting increasingly easier to use his emotional instability to my advantage. That's about all he has going for him right now.
Finals are done.. I just wanna get drunk and pretend I'm a seahorse.
Is tonight a drink a little and reminisce kinda night, or a drink everything and pray kinda night?
Why is there an ambulance refusal in my pocket? I'm never going drinking with you again.
He just grabbed my boob and justified it by saying "I just wanna feel your heart beat"
Oh yeah, found out i got it from my boyfriend's wife. Thanks though.
I don't care what you say about him, his cock is the stuff dreams are made of.
Now you can NEVER tell anyone that on thanksgiving I took a selfie of my pussy to prove they don't get worse with babies.
Literally just sitting around waiting for someone to come along and fuck my chakras back into alignment
He doesn't understand the concept of a strip club. He keeps falling in love
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