dont worry your back hair reminds me of angel wings
Funny, I didnt know that facebook statuses were for crappy song lyrics
I just saw two girls throwing up in the bathroom. they were high-fiving under the stall...
..and then spiked the maple syrup at iHop
Best. Handjob. Ever.
I'm guessing Kelly is over?
Nope. Home alone.
Why have they been driving around the block for the past 30 min?
He told her it was international road head day.
she's lying on the floor with a bottle of vodka, belting shakira. plz advise.
Just checked my phone. Sometime last night I googled sex positions in a tent. Was there even a tent there?
I knew it was gonna be a rough night when the guys next to us at Relay for Life started shot gunning beers and yelling "This ones for all the hot chicks that went bald because of cancer". It kinda went downhill from there....
I only made out with him because he cured my hiccups
I think you'll be amused to know that I achieved the impossible feat of tripping over my own dick
I'm in public and Taylor Swift is playing. It is taking all my effort to not screech like a goat.
If I ever go to jail it will be because of you, I can feel it.
I am cleaning melted cheese out of my hair. This is a new experience for me
We saw the mini basketball hoop and unicycle and just knew we had to create a new sport
Drunk minds think alike
Randomize
