drunk at some random house party. come get me. i thought i pulled my dick out to go piss... it was my left nut. im soaked.
i'm pretty sure you said "blowjob marathon" lastnight
i totally said that
OMG THIS GUYS LICENSE PLATE IS GETTNHRWET
I have new birth control, three bottles of jack, and some coupons for micky d's. You wanna have that sleepover?
I just did the nutritional comparison between 2% milk and Bud Light Lime.. the beer had less calories, less carbs, and less fat. It's not looking good for milk in my life anymore
She was sitting there stuffing her face rubbing my back with a dorito cheese filled hand while eating something else with the other hand as I was crying.
BAHHAHHAHHAHAHHA SOME ASS IS BIYING NE DRHBKS. DRUBK
Be still, my beating vagina.
we found him. outside on the balcony, sitting on a bucket, with his pants off, swearing he was'nt taking a dump
Whatever she smells like compost and feathers.
I believe they call that patchouli.
we told the drug dealer that our car was dead and we needed a jump so he would bring the drugs to us...
Just took adderall with about half a bottle of red wine...i have stopped trying for this last exam
Yeah, so, that moment when the repair guy comes in and you see your cock ring on the counter one second before he does.
You came out in nothing but lingerie and a Jedi robe claiming you needed more of those baby hot dog things or you were gonna go all Sith on us
i gave head in a cab last night. get on my level.
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