I can actually hear my brain cells scream as they die when she speaks.
there r dinosaurs outside my house i hear them
pretty sure those are just snow plows....go back to bed
You're sure you don't want to come? I'm pretty sure there is going to be "Pin the Tail on the Baby".
well let's see. after you forcefully shoved a half-eaten apple in my mouth, you ruined the pepsi by dumping an entire beer in there.
for the record, graham crackers won't get the taste of cock out of your mouth. also we're out of graham crackers
Everything tastes like Lysol. Am I dying?
Nope. If I'm going to drive an hour to fuck a teacher, it will NOT be missionary thats for damn sure.
How would I get in touch with Carly Rae Jepsen if I wanted to thank her for the loss of my virginity?
Are you still free tonight?
Oh shit I kinda forgot and took acid
How is it that I, the only one that didn't drink last night, was the only one puking out the car window?
IDK I WAS CAUGHT UP IN THE TEQUILA SHOTS AND FRIENDSHIP
I seriously doubt this is the first time pumpkin pie has led to a booty call.
Thank you for stroking my rage monster tonight.
"WHAT IS THIS LESBIAN MADNESS"
Oh god, I forgot we had sex to Elton John
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