hey im gonna send you a picture of my dinner
if its a picture of your dick again we are no longer friends
im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
Nothing screams don't date me louder then having your baby as your profile pic
how in the hell can u get pulled over when ur car is parked.
he just ordered a side of pineapple and winked at me. too much for a first date. come get me.
I should just tell him this. He doesn't need to be all nice and ask me on dates and to do gay stuff like hangout during the day. I'll still sleep with him regardless.
I really can't get over how proud I am of all us getting laid at the same time in the same apartment
There is a guy, stoned out of his mind, only wearing slippers and a bathrobe in the library.
The 9th floor RA wants to know why we stacked 21 cinder blocks in the shower, and I can't remember. Do you?
Spending my graduation money on an abortion. Welcome to the real world.
I tried telling the cop that I don't do drugs, and that if he'd just take me home I could prove it by showing him my D.A.R.E. certificate.
Sorry we couldn't "turn off the mirrors." How're you feeling today?
that awkward moment when you use blowjob jokes as a segue into coming out as bi
No we didn't fuck. He picked me up I asked where we were going and he said "I don't know if you've ever heard of a little place called Denny's?" He was completely serious. I told him to stop the car and I got out and called Jack.
this strobe light makes my body turn on and off
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