After I told my husband the docter shot me in the ass, he said - oh they can but I can't?!
she had a concussion and she still scored nine points higher than me on the midterm
Found crayons in my cigarette pack. I can't help but feel you may be responcible.
she got the salsa and pickles out of the fridge looked at me and said what can i make with this
am i so blindsided by his great personality that i'm hooking up with an ugly guy?
i thought you knew
Shit my boyfriend's roommate thinks thinks: I love getting woken up to the sound of my roommate getting a blowjob
That's what you get for doing kinky shit with a guy that lives in his moms basement.
Owwww. A manager/ employee sex scandal that DOES NOT involve me! SCORE!!!
He's far too busy staring into my soul to touch my tits.
WINE AND FILM. TALK ABOUT AN UPGRADE FROM NETFLIX AND CHILL.
That's probably why white girls drink so much espresso. Piledriving coke and vodka crans takes a fucking toll man
Yeah well, last time I said I wasn't having a big night I was being strangled in somebody's spare bed
I just loudly threatened to kill a self checkout machine
So how was it?
The cemetery or the sex?
I can tell just by looking at the wedding photos that the groom has hooked up with at least three of his groomsmen. I would feel bad for her except that she’s hooked up with two of the same ones.
Randomize
