i like that you affectionately refer to him as "creepy" ever time you talk about him
Im interpreting your silence as a silent plea for me to come wake you up. See you soon.
He got tattooed, peirced, and we're pretty sure he got rufeed by that fat chick. He was like a walking spring break stereotype.
No sexy Asian girl. No comfy bed. I'm just gonna lie here in the hall next to the garbage can until someone comes home.
Half my face is frozen, my vagina is broken, I'm wearing only gym shorts eating a plate of mashed potatoes, avatar is on my tv. There's a naked guy on my couch whose name idk. I needa talk to you asap
He drunk dialed me at 2am asking if he could put a baby in me.
The only times girls talk to me at clubs is when they're asking if I'm okay when I'm puking outside. Or if it's a tranny
Master Skywalker, there are too many of them. What am I going to do?
Hit on the one in the red shorts. The thirst is strong with this one.
Yeah yeah, I don't care. I bought a super soaker, so lets please go attracting attention by spraying each other while wearing white tank tops?
It was awful. He had a wife
And now you've had a year of virgin penance. Absolve yourself.
We're super invested in me shitting to my full potential
I gave him a bj as a thank you for helping. I think that's good.
I think you just described to us the most perfect drunken fairy tale that has somehow never been written
Still can’t get over the fact that we ate beef jerky off a strip club floor
I’m home.
I’m aware. I just dropped you off.
Randomize
