omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
member when we used to take shits together before volleyball games?
I decided that $2 and a kiss on the cheek was a great tip for the pizza girl. No one is REALLY sure how much I've have to drink.
To put it in a frame of reference with which you're familiar, it was like making out with a golden retriever.
I think I pulled my groin stumbling back from the bar. That or the hippo I woke up next to.
I'll just dance on top of the ping pong table, and if it's stable enough for that, then it's stable enough for sex
I've made friends with the guy dressed as a gorilla that was chasing the guy dressed as a banana around with a super soaker full of vodka. I feel this will be a good relationship for me.
Is there a special protocol when the stripper has a Boba Fett tattoo?
I am drunk please bring Taco Bell and sex
Never mind I found pizza just bring sex
Mid stroke she told me she'd had bigger. Replied I could tell. Sex ended right at that moment.
Whore are you.
Is that a Yoda insult or are you asking me where I am?
Yes.
We got stuck in traffic in the tunnel while we were smoking weed. We were afraid to air out the car.
The ride home was alright, we hooked up in the street next to his car after he smashed into the guard rail
His Australian accent during sex made me think I was in an Outback Steakhouse commercial
So what happened at girls night? My roomate found me passed out locked out on the front steps of the house and it was raining. Yes low moment
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