Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.
Don't judge me. Haven't eaten all day so I'm in my room sticking my finger in peanut butter, then jam, then my mouth.
my roommate left her license, credit card, and cellphone on her desk. I feel like this is a trap.
hahaha he is wasted in math class right now and is drawing all the planets in order from the sun
i love that when i tell my kids and grandkids about how we first met it will be about this little thing called a "poke" on facebook
He was having trouble staying hard then just stopped mid-sex and said "it's overheating" while pointing to his dick.
Watching tv. She's giving me head and she hates it when I watch her.
Just realized the guy is in my class. Unless there's another guy that had half his ear bit off at a St. Patty's party
You know those creepy dolls that look like they are watching you from anywhere in the room? It was like that, but with his penis...
literally 50% of my time being 20 has involved my genitals thus far
With everyone putting up pictures of their moms on Facebook it's time to go single MILF hunting.
I just masturbated to the thought of him straight up talking to me. to us having a conversation. What the hell.
YOU DONT EAT A GIRL OUT AND THEN GO PUKE ASSHOLE
I don't know what you're doing this morning, but obtaining Plan B is my number-one priority.
I think I just received the most dignified proposition of my life. From the father of the bride. Who'd have thought.
Randomize
