I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
I dont know, my roommate got arrested but I'm gunna get some tacos no matter what
omg i hate the new neighbors. why cant a bitch just be hungover in peace on a wednesday morning.
I'm sorry that I didn't get belligerently drunk and did not put my penis on your neck again
I don't get hangovers. Except once. And there is a massively epic story behind that, involving so much alcohol I should have died, and 13 raw hotdogs.
Dude. You dropped to your knees and face planted into the rocks. And continued to talk on the phone and laugh. That's where those cuts came from.
Me and some girl at the bar just high fived for not wearing bras
Not sure but if it exists I will find it and I will fill my face with it
No. There is no way we have to stoop so low as to ask your dad for weed. There has to be an alternative.
That cat I follow on Facebook beat cancer so we're drinking tonight in celebration
I threw my shoes out of frustration and walked home barefoot... can you help me find my shoes in the morning
Let's take a shot for every time we've said "I don't want to get that drunk tonight"
Totally writing my paper on the toilet. Makes me miss you.
he told me I was hypnotizing him with my mouth so I guess I do give good head
I stared at his dick and then told him to get on his knees
Randomize
