It is pretty awful out and I still haven't put on pants yet.
I just saw a man with a full beard and frosted tips
there is no god
I just saw my grandmother naked. again. this needs to stop now.
You kept trying to hail an ambulance
She devotes each year to either men or women. I waited all year for her to be straight, tonights the night.
$5 long island pitchers = roommate pissing on his laptop at 3am.
all i remember was you yelling "look at my little feet" at everyone on the way home from the bar.
Normal vaginal pH: 3.8 to 4.5. Of course it tastes like a 9-volt. I could run a potato clock on that thing.
No im just getting a road beer. You got my pants?
Sweet. Well pat yourself on the back this penis just burst back into the the game and the vaginas of millions
He walked up to anal ring toss like he was going to win you a teddy bear
I am thinking about buying a decorative chest for all our sex stuff....
I tried to bring you in when you passed out on the porch but all you said was that I "ruined your hope ands dreams of becoming an astronaut"
I just went to cvs and bought condoms, handcuffs and a coloring book
I have 2 bottles of wine, a sharpie, and a panda mask and don't have to wake up early. Can u do the math on this?
Randomize
