I'd fuck her but she fucked Dusty. And I'm pretty sure he's humped livestock
So do you want to come over? ;)
Never again opening up the Pandora's box of crazy that is your vagina. Sorry.
you were holding her hair as she threw up saying "I'm going to be a great doctor" repeatedly.
i found you on the dancefloor with your cell phone to your ear saying that you didn't like the music they played at the club so you were going to listen to your own
Her birthday cake consisted of a shot of tequila with a candle in it
I haven't been "cry when you eat ben and jerrys" high in a while.
I'm pretty sure that I'm earning a horrible reputation with your friends, but I'm having a fucking great time in the process.
I feel like I was just dunked in a tub of beer and then thrown in a giant dryer with rocks in it.
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
You know how hard it is to play cool while not drowning and appreciating a pair of butts at the same time?
She wants to go as a facebook "like" for halloween, but right now her costume looks more like the hamburger helper hand with broken fingers.
Don't worry, I'm sure your thrusting skills are on point.
It was a great idea to buy that cocaine while dressed as an elf. It snowed all night for me.
just drove past - why are you walking towards the shop in your pyjamas?
Can't talk, on a quest for bacon.
He’s basically a sexual superhero. A mild mannered marketing intern by day, but a very horny 22 year old with pornstar stamina at nights!
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