What do you want? Don't say anything that would make me look like a pussy at the store.
I am so fucking pissed, there are no Shamwows in the As Seen on TV Store.
Looks like you'll have to stick to jizzing in socks.
I could be a Disney star with the amount of nude photos of mine that get leaked.
no, i'm proud of you. this is the happiest you've been since you discovered that bowls can be used as cups if you don't feel like washing dishes.
So he saw that playlist i made with his name as the title. i think he's creeped out that I have 106 songs that remind me of him
I'd say the best part of the party was when you screamed to everyone that you were gettin dome on the reg
did you really just send me an instagramed dick pic?
What I'm trying to say is, that time you chained me to my dresser and made me beg for it was incredibly romantic.
he just hooked up with some chick in a bedroom upstairs so I just went to sleep in the pantry closet...
I invited you and you fucked me in the face with the penis of disappointment and shit.
I can't keep up with all the guys you're banging. I'm just going to start referring to them by city of origin.
did you see me getting spanked by that lady cop who was a guy?
The cleaning lady even cleaned my bong. I'm scared to open my sex toy drawer and see if and how she organized it
Should I be concerned you put your last name in my phone as "danger"?
Well, I currently have zero fuckboys and my vibrator just broke. A fresh start to May.
Randomize