It's not a real calculator it's a math calculator
I'm drunk in f*****g wisconsin and want to kill myself.
If it's any consolation, be grateful that you're not in New Jersey.
Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.
Oh and then this old man who saw it happen goes "don't do that"
Hahaha what a helpful old man. Like you thought it was normal to be spilling gas everywhere.
Just took a final in the room where I lost my virginity. I think it was god luck.
I just peeled a layer of cum off my eyelid. Don't even tell me that's not why you came over
Today's dinner table topic: the probablity of my dad turning gay if he ever left my mom.
On a scale of 1 to 3, with 1 being the smallest and 3 being the largest, what size nipple pasty do you think I am?
I just masturbated to a Jock Jams cd. What have you done today?
He's asking if he can send a dick pic. How do I politely decline that?
we left the music on while we were fucking. some kanye west song started playing and he started to cry
We dropped so many bottles they would only give us plastic cups. We actually drank ourselves back to preschool.
50% drunk capacity currently
I better make out with at least 3 princesses and 4 animals this weekend.
She rode me like a jockey on that tiny couch. Then we spooned.
Randomize
