White coat. Heels.
The maid of honor just puked.
i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
Last night I fell down in the street (I think in someone's vomit), cut my knee up, lost my moms necklace and my license, and had to walk back to the hotel.
It was like his mom forgot to breastfeed him and he was making up for lost time.
My drug dealer asked me out. What's the protocal for this?
Single person behavior: I wanted a cookie but was too lazy to make or go buy any, so I let cookie dough ice cream melt and ate all the chunks. Pantsless.
What do you need? A swimsuit and a liver of steel? What else?
She's calming us down by shoving oreos in our mouths
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
Running late for a date because I couldn't get my clothes out from under the dude I spent the night with in time to leave when I planned. This is my life.
Still stoned. I like your bong. It can stay. No others, though.
I found a blow up pig at an adult store. He will have to fuck that on video if he wants anal. Also, I bought a pair of clear high heels. Tell your brother I love him.
I just coughed and my vagina hurt. We need to hook up more.
I literally JUST MADE IT to the liquor store. I bought a box of wine with the lights off
Randomize
