Apparently I was trying to convince him Springsteen has had buttsex. I ended the argument with "I bet he came from it too."
Quite frankly, I consider the fact that I'm NOT pregnant one of my greatest achievements and I'd like to chronicle that ongoing success. I'm going to post pictures of me at "0 weeks" once a week.
We convinced you to take a shot out of the sponge...there were still suds in it.
I think I just used lyrics from the Sister Sister theme song to let a guy down easy...
$150 bar tab covered by these tits. That's now the going rate. Keeping my bra on during sex unless i see the Benjamins.
I can't believe I've come to a point in my life where sex for a birthday present is acceptable
... why is there a bottle of pee on my headboard?
If we could give a gymnastic score to drunken nights, I would be a part of the Fab Five.
He's against "violent sex" cause apparently my body is "sacred". Like dude I'm about to tell you about blowing your brother just so you'll fuck me like an animal Jesus Christ....
'TWAS BUT A GLORIOUS SIGHT. BITCHES.
My philosophy is thug life and that means never having to say your sorry for stealing drinks off tables
Really I don't care what we're doing or watching. Your penis spends way too much time outside of my body.
No actually you're a pro. You puked on the cab ride, and managed to completely contain it in your purse. the cabbie was even impressed.
He's just been a dick since he set his face on fire. I just wanted to eat a fucking hot dog.
They made the paper for stealing gnomes. I fucked a local celebrity.
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