Hi
Babe...You're really smothering me right now
you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
so i wake up and the chick who i had sex last night left her phone number. next to the number was a broken condom. should i call?
I've never watched DWTS before, but this show's got Pamela Anderson, Erin Andrews and Brooke Burke: 3 of my top 10 all time most masturbated to women.
I'm telling everyone at work the mark on my neck is a hickey but really I was taking a shit while straightening my hair and burned myself
At victory brunch. Have a decent story. Im now eskimo brother with the duke mens basketball teams from 2002 to 2008 and obamas right hand man
I take your lack of response to mean that your hands are taped to 40 ounces of something.
Aaaaand then she sang MDMA to the tune of the YMCA song, with appropriate gestures.
Text me back. Urgent. It is a porta Keep the portal alive.
Is this the acid talking?
Ps I'm glad our relationship hasn't progressed into having to get married so we legally can't testify against each other
Our relationship is representative of a cognitive bias that leads to bad decision making and misplacement of resources. So should we pick up some whiskey tomorrow?
Urgent. Do not ignore. What does this "=$" shit mean. Quality foreign dick is at stake here
I fell asleep with a half eating burrito in my hand and woke up to cat vomit with burrito in it.
gave out my moms phone number instead of mine last night... thattttttttttttttt dunk.
He ate me out while I stood on his bed drinking a Rainier.
Randomize
