so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
I almost didn't wake up for my first day of work. The 3rd bottle of champagne was a mistake. And the 2nd bottle of wine after that was probably excessive
She had her laptop open and there was microsoft word opend and all was written was "no italianoo"
I'm gonna wear that dress that makes me look like a slut. You know, the one your sister got arrested in.
not saying it was a bad idea to throw an impromptu party but someone stole the microwave
I'm having Vietnam flashbacks. This Kid I hooked up with is speaking in class and I keep experiencing the terror.
when the song champagne showers came on you poured some kids beer over his head... while giving him a lap dance
Today I'm judging my level of singleness on a scale of one to eat-a-can-of-frosting. It's not looking good for me.
Ooooh. Get funfetti
Can we do a version of last night where I actually remember shit?
he ate me out like 4 times and told me that my vagina "was too much fun".
im not trying to sound dramatic, but im covered in microwavable lasagna
you got to sleep with him and don't even remember it? that's like sleeping through an entire vacation
Well get back to your date and give him the ceremonial 1am handy and text me when your done.
The worst part about living in a small town is partying with your pharmacist and then having to buy Plan B from him the next morning.
Randomize
