turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
honestly if we didnt hate the same people we would have a friendship based on nothing
i must've hopped out the car and eaten some leaves...even when your'e drunk that's not acceptable
At the airport and im So hungover. Think anyone will help if I put a note on me reading "flying to Boston, please wake me as we board" and then passing back out?
Oh, and trying to figure out who wants to do Molly in a frat is like asking damn children if they want puppies and candy. So just bring as much as possible.
I feel that the drunker I get, the drunker Facebook gets.
Bitch, it's 2 in the afternoon.
Worst walk of shame man. They had a fire drill at 7am, had to walk out of her all girl dorm wearing my Everday I'm Hustling sweater
I don't care if we're married you can't just walk into the bedroom with a pizza box expecting to get laid
Far too many of our conversations end in us talking about sperm
What drinking game we play yesterday? Fight club or something?
I was really proud of me too last night! Found a discarded hamburger that I have no memory of at the foot of the bed. Instead of a Dude. I'm really growing as a person
Business idea: assless chaps for toddlers. I'm high.
I just called my grandma crying, apologizing for being the first grandchild to have premarital sex...I'm either about to start my period or pregnant.
bonus check + party bus = big hot mess
So my furniture is upside-down, two lamps are glued to the ceiling, and there is a kitten sleeping on Kyle's face. Please tell me what happened last night....
Randomize
