I just drove by a church. On the sign out front was written 'crocodile cock'. On both sides.
why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
I fucked my boyfriend 15 minutes before my pap test. My gyno probably thinks I hate her.
apparently when the FedEx truck drove by, we tried to chase it down thinking they were delievering a 30 pack...great night.
No way. Our relationship is based solely on texting and sex. A phone call would be too much at this point.
Im surprised putting the throwing knife "dartboard" next to the door didnt end up worse
WHY IS MY CAR MISSING A DOOR YOU BITCH
budget cuts
YOU CANT BLAME EVERYTHING YOU DO WHILE DRUNK ON BUDGET CUTS
budget cuts are serious business
Someone touched my vagina when we were out last night. The fact that it was you is inconsequential and I am still counting it as a pull.
Apparently after I threw up I put my socks in the toilet......
we are not taking body shots with the irish cream
I was told that I need a reference for my blow job skills. Be expecting a phone call tomorrow.
I am serious when I say I think I broke a rib having sex with Kyle. It might be puncturing my lung. No lie. I might die today.
I know he's married but I don't know how else to show sympathy! Nudes are my only emotional currency.
How do I let my trainer know I'm only at the gym so I can get in more intense sex positions?
I got confused. The music was loud, porn was playing, people were grinding, there were hand jobs.
Randomize
