I have a hot bod, but my face sucks, what can i do?
Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
I mean, it's free alcohol, to turn it down would be a crime against humanity.
Honestly, it was easier to just put it in my mouth than to deal with an awkward conversation.
also: i found my "nug jug", actually the baby did, but either way it got returned to its rightful owner
They got a 10 foot tall beach ball from the roof of a McDonalds. Get the fuck over here.
My parents are takin me for chinese food for my 4/20 present.
I fucking hate you.
On a separate note, I just found out some condoms aren't vegan. Problem.
Hahahaha I can't wait for you to ask "wait. are there any animal by products in that?"
He wants to tie me naked and spread out on his table, press a vibrator to my clit and feed me ice cream.
That is my stoner wet dream!
If you fall asleep, my vagina and I will never forgive you.
I walked out ot my car in the morning thinking there was a sandwich I left there from yesterday. Then later that day I was checking the mail and saw the other side of my car :/
It concerns me the most that u were potentially going to eat a day old car sandwich.
I think I swiped left on my soulmate
I came so hard I literally levitated off the top of his dick. Gravity was no match for that orgasm!
I can’t believe I made out with a flat earther and didn’t know about it until now!
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