fuck, i think i'm broken. Alchyhol air mattress = the suck.
I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
maybe i'll make good life choices and keep my legs closed. periodically txt me friday and saturday night saying "baby carrot round 2" that should stop me.
Nobody knew what to do when it was dead. You said fire up the George Foreman, I've never ate baby shark. She hasn't stopped crying.
I tried...failed..now im naked on the futon since clothes are hard.
Well, that now makes it the 4th girlfriend in a row to cheat on me. I don't even care anymore...I'll date a prostitute and not even worry.
WHY IS FOOD SO DELICIOUS
BECAUSE SCIENCE
Less than a month to graduation and I'm still blacking out on the reg tonguing down the closest breathing organism preferably with a penis but I'm flexible, and still havent figured out how to be functional on Fridays. WHY don't they teach us valuable shit at this institution!?
That was the night, like, my hair caught on fire...
All is fair in love and war and toga parties
And he came by and picked me up. We cuddled in his car then had sex until... an officer doing his rounds put a spotlight on crazy haired, naked me straddling him.
Like he was inside me when I made eye contact with a police man.
She is carving a little coffin out of some wood for her hamster that died. I'm flying home tonight.
walked into my room this morning clutching two empty bottles of sminoff to find my roommate's ultra conservative parents staring at my posters of naked men. fuck parents weekend.
I took it as a sign from the lord above that she wanted me to creep on these men.
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