You know you want to come over later
1:27a: Um no
1:45a: Maybe
2:05a: Probably
2:38a: I'm outside, let me in
We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
I don't want to have to wonder if I'm draining my pasta in the same side of the sink you pissed in
My body isn't even mad at me...just disappointed
And i laid in the yard with carrots on my chest cause i wanted a bunny
I cannot believe I said bareback movement...
do you think its obvious that we spent all afternoon playing naked body oil twister?
I think I just used lyrics from the Sister Sister theme song to let a guy down easy...
If you have a glass table... Put it up. I don't wanna hurt myself again, I just got my stitches out...
And I think your bro would be happy to know that when I took my bra off like 10lbs of confetti fell out. It was like my tits were celebrating being free
Nothing like sunday church bells to aid your walk to the pharmacy to get plan b
I don't think I'm ever gonna need a boyfriend again. I have a body pillow, a vibrator, and I'm strong enough to open my own jars.
Well, I currently have zero fuckboys and my vibrator just broke. A fresh start to May.
Burnt food and a broken vibrator. Disappointment after disappointment. Is April a man?
last night you said that you wanted to hold my dick as you slept because it was like having a stuffed animal.
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