I need a sticker that says "It's no use hitting on me - I'm the plus one" Seriously, how do they think I got in in the 1st place?
Can you imagine it being physically possible any other way unless the cows are unnaturally flexible
Just got the test results back. All clean, Now whose an idiot for going bareback in South America for 3 months straight.
I hope my sperm were as drunk as I was.
you figure out which one you wanna sleep with, & I'll sleep with the other one. problem solved
Came to from my blackout with native american warrior facepaint on I'm too old for this shit
The facepaint not the blacking out
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
He asked us to wake him up with a strobe light. We had it going in front of his face full power for half and hour and he didn't even blink.
I was gonna respond but i couldnt figure out a way to rearrange 'fuck his brains out' to sound grammatically correct
Only great wives bring your dope to you when you are at the Cardiologist
Lies! You took my virginity, and now my cigarettes!
So he has moved up to a stage 5 clinger...Surprised he didn't try to lure you into bed with tacos, like he did last time
Yeah... akward. I don't want a round 2
he's like crack. I can't be in the same room with him while drunk and not do him.
You were filing your nipples with a nail file to "make them sharper"
My hands smell like vagina and ham.
Randomize
