I just saw a girl walking home wearing a tshirt, boxers, and cowboy boots. Thanks for having the decency to drive me to my car.
so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
He's very warm and cuddly, that's my favorite thing about him. Besides his Porche. And his hot brother.
I already brushed my teeth, and it's not even noon yet. Today's going to be a productive day.
he put on The Eye of the Tiger while she was in labor.
Ive consumed more rum studying for law school finals than I did that time I fucked that fat chick in the back of VW Beetle. It's all ugly, but for different reasons.
Literally everyone in the bar was absolutely hammered out of their minds. I swear I even saw the bartender swigging jd when he thought no one was looking. And there was me thinking Britain was the booziest nation in the world.
Welcome to America. You're gonna love it.
please tell me we weren't that bad as freshmen
i can't, we're worse now
They're basically the Kennedys. This is the family I fucked in to. I'm so proud of my vagina as much as it feels shitty for my heart.
God, you're amazing. I just want to hang out with you in the nude and watch Monty Python movies whilst we quip about how comedians just aren't as funny anymore.
Credit for originality. Points off for a mild to moderate creepy factor.
No. No. No. No one's allowed to fuck in the yurt.
All I remember is sitting on your kitchen floor and playing with a banana like it was a viking ship.
I don't remember how I broke my nose last night, but I woke up with dried blood everywhere. Also, you should tell that guy how you feel.
I will find, mount, and marry that person.
He said my vagina smelled like pomegranates. Its like my vagina is the fountain of youth.
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