But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
We all just poured out a sip of our drinks for you. One for our pussy whipped homie.
last day of my family cruise we all got trashed and had an award ceremony. I got the award for hooking up with a cougar. my grandma hugged me and said im living up to the legacy. this is why my familys better than yours
being able to look good while almost puking is a skill that takes a lot of puking to develop.
we've called him dos banos ever since he threw up in 2 separate bathrooms with the same puke
Ok now I cleared out half the bar and Em and I have 5 Jameson shots lined up for you. You have 15 min.
This will never work out with him unless I somehow learn how to unhinge my jaw like a python.
I had a dream where I was about to fight you but you were dressed like a greek god and had just killed a werewolf with your bare hands
Brunch got away from me. I might be a little high.
She left her panties here. They looked SOOO much smaller last night.
The compounded multi day delayed hangover hit me hard today, with a vengeance normally reserved for large objects that go in my ass. I don't feel good.
I plan to get very, very drunk when I get off work.
But doesn't your shift end at like noon?
I don't think you understand.
I feel like a pile of chihuahua shit that got eaten by a Great Dane who puked it up and then set it on fire.
Just ignore the penis. It's won't bother you. I promise.
Just flash them and yell "JUDGE THESE BITCHES"
Randomize
