whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
seeing an 80 year old woman puke in the bushes changes everything...
that's spring break in florida for ya
These hangoverless Sunday mornings are becoming too regular.
the story is to long to tell you via txt so when you notice the tattoo on your ass call me.
I hope he says my name when they're having anniversary sex this weekend.
I think I just sold a snake to a stoned teenager.
Dude. Some drunk chick just put an Aussie hat on me and was screaming at me in German. Her friends had to drag her away. Point being, I now have a cool hat.
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
So apparently using the emergency exit of the bar as a bathroom is frowned upon in this establishment...
At 38 I had to open a Snapchat account to communicate with my 21 yr bf. where is my life going.
I SWEAR TO ALL THAT IS HOLY I HAVE NEVER WIPED MY GENITALIA ON ANY TYPE OF EMERGENCY RESPONSE VEHICLE!!
I can't trust your balls anymore.
Fun fact: the guy I banged last night. His middle name on his birth certificate is "Windstorm."
I just realized. I havent even gotten a paycheck from this new job yet and already laid one of the girls most of the dudes are after
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
Randomize
