sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
I just put lube in Matt's bellybutton. He looks unhappy.
He had a beer bottle in each of his back pockets and was on rollerblades. All I remember is following him for about 10 minutes
we ran out of cups so i finished the night drinking out of a paint can.
We're about to have a bottle rocket fight on jetskis. You have 5 minutes to get on our level.
Oh my god, I am the best RA ever. I'm teaching my freshman girls how to deep throat on bananas as a group bonding activity. I'm making the religious ones eat them for potassium.
Dude that girl I hooked up with Tuesday is in lecture. I told her I was from the Dominican visiting my cousin and was leaving the next day. Hiding under my hood and hangover.
You know how I've been hooking up with my ex? Well he told me he loved me and I said I was just there for sex so let's get it done. He looked sad, but he did it anyways. And life was good again.
Omg he has a washer and dryer IN his apartment and lots of back up toilet paper. I went home with an adult. My uterus is pumping out eggs beyond my control.
I can't tell if I have the Pizza Hut shits or beer shits
Apparently he walked into the room and started yelling at some huge hairy dude to get out of my room. Except it wasn't my room... Because he was on the fourth floor.
currently buying a pregnancy test while braless so happy november to you too
There's weed in my toothpaste. Explain.
That was right around the time that the drunken mess pulled out his dick in front of myself and like 10 other people and started peeing all over the train platform while saying, "Sometimes a bear gets you brother. Sometimes a bear gets you."
Pretty standard Thursday night commute for you, no?
If you wear a peguin suit you MUST send me a picture!!!
Randomize
