...seriously? chocolate pudding? motorboating? No one has even done that to ME and i am 69 times the whore you are
Woman walking into toby keith concert: 8 months pregnant, black eye, shirt on that has a picture of a boot and the words "we'll put a boot up your ass" with an american flag printed over--the sleeves were ripped off and she had a camo cowboy hat. Greatest thing I've ever seen.
Five Mah tais Laser and i skill have not drunk dial you
champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
she works at a police station now. i think thats the definition of keeping your enemies closer.
I'm sorry but I have to break up with you. My wife is pregnant and can't have a girlfriend too.
Hey so I just want to get straight to the point it was me who ate the last cupcake and it was your sister who I fucked last nigt
How do I explain the handcuffs and tanning goggles on our living room floor? There's rope too. The cats love the rope.
I keep shaking cocoa puffs out of my hair. Best Sunday Funday ever.
Dude. That Grinch had his priorities right when he was worried that there might be a cash bar at that town celebration.
I REMEMBER NUGGETS BEING THERE BUT WE WERE AT A TACO BELL
He shit with the door open. I think that means we are in a realtionship.
im so drunk that this cat is mothering me. aggressively
I can't be sure but I think I slept with a clown last night...
What’s the best way to find out if he’s into anal?
I think you have the wrong number, but good luck with that
Randomize
