At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
dude smells like cheese burgers and loose women...... i want his life
did i have both of my shoes on when the bouncer threw us out last night?
he kept his composure pretty well until he puked on the cop car
I'll be heading downtown with donuts and a lawn chair at 9am to go Halloween Walk o' Shame spotting.
his mom cheated on his dad so i think he has a weird freudian thing for whores
I wish the ER had shaved that part of my head. It would be easier to show people my staples at the bar.
I have random bruises including my spine and visible bite marks on my neck. Thanksgiving car sex accomplished.
Told her my spirit animal was the spread eagle. Now that's my name in her phone.
I mean honestly, what would you have done?
Not screw her in the church house?
Ask me if I'm sitting naked in a lawn chair eating a block of cheese waiting for a bacon grilled cheese sandwich
I think you might be the first man ever to describe getting a blowjob as "neat"
He literally poured blue Gatorade on me after we had sex and said "good game" all over my white sheets
You have cats and a ten year IUD. Embrace it.
I suppose writing him up is more professional than keying his car.
Randomize