please tell me if i'm home and in my bed
negative
come find me please
there are singles shoved down my panties. this is the type of summer job i always wanted.
"Worlds Wildest Videos" should be called "Crazy White People"
he opened up his "box of magic": a crusty tube of KY jelly, three expired condoms, a fingertip vibrater, and a jar of marshmallow fluff.
Good to know: if a hot girls asks to go back to my place, she probably just needs to vomit all over my bathroom
i think you ate grass..but you refused to open your mouth so we could see..
I was informed that last night we held hands while puking on the curb outside the bar.
We just have a real special relationship.
I just masturbated to a Jock Jams cd. What have you done today?
Maybe you should start carrying pepper spray. You are like the Justin Bieber of lesbians.
I told my doctor about us having twin chlamydia
When you are old and getting humped by saggy balls every other weekend you are gonna wish you had more sex with freshly legal boys. Your vagina will thank you one day. Don't let her down.
I'm still me, I just happen to have things in my porn library that you may not have expected
Only you would come out as bi like that
Last night you snap chatted some chick a pic of bottle service with the caption "send tits"
you got into a really intense arguement about protecting bees. it was wierdly arousing.
I really wish you were home bc youre the only friend I could ask to use an at home waxing kit on my vagina. I need you.
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