btw i have an angry voicemail of you yelling at me to get you a sandwich or die.
Oh, and that ugly chick transformed into a veritable goddess when she came back at 3AM with a handle of vodka and 100 chicken wings
Ugh. This is the type of hangover that all other hangovers want to grow up to be.
We hooked up. It felt slightly wrong considering he is my foreign exchange student but there's a reason America imports. Foreigners got the goods.
My going away gift was all of them dancing around with solo cups on their dick and balls...these are my friends
maybe her throwing up on me was a foreshadowing of how she would later metaphorically throw up on my life
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
I can't find a song to express how gay I'm feeling.
So some drunk guy just tried to convince me with all of his passion that bacon is a color
If I get a 4.0 I am doing SO much cocaine.
What's the point of bringing a Jack and Coke to work if my boss is just gonna piss and moan about me day drinking again?
I also woke up in a guys bed in a Reptar shirt yesterday morning staring at a movie theater sized poster of the not as popular Air Bud franchise movie Super Buddies.
I did a trust fall off the bar and then almost got into a knife fight over a push up competition. Just another Tuesday.
my boobs just made me lose a game of beer pong. the balls hit them, bounced off and into the cup. twice. ive never been so disappointed in them.
All I could think about was how many vaginas had been on the toliet that I was pukin in
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