Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
At least with the last gf I made it clear that I wanted to breakup when I pissed on her floor @ 3am as her roommate watched in contempt
Totally forgot this... How weird was it when they were licking our faces
We've started doing pot butter shots. WHY AREN'T U HERE
I cagt a turtle and named him squirt. He's in my bathtub Caleb is feeding me peaches! This is the most beautiful vodka Thursday ever!
Hope your thanksgiving is a complete blowjob festival.
Life gets in the way of sexy Saturday sometimes
Carving a pumpkin in a gay bar at 2am. How did my life get to be this way.
My mom is currently out with her lesbian friends and I'm home alone drunk listening to the Les Miserables soundtrack. WHY DO I FEEL THE NEED TO COMPETE WITH HER?
I thought i didnt really feel whatever i snorted last night until i just realized i think i asked this dude to punch me fight club style
I'M CUDDLING WITH MY CAT AND THAT GUY SENT ME A DICK PIC. UNANNOUNCED DICK PICS ARE TERRIFYING AND MY CAT WILL NEVER BE THE SAME
you didnt realize it, but you puked in the bushes in front of a church and yelled "GOD IS DEAD"
I never thought I'd say this but there's too many dicks around here.
You know the story of the boner party, right? They got stuck in the mountains and ate each other?
It was the Donner party... boner party was the porn version...
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