you know you are hungover when... you set your alarm for the next time you think you are going to throw up
I just saw a dude get out of an ambulance with nothing but wallabees on
Just hooked up on shake weight girl's dad's porsche. What are YOU doing with your life?
I'll call you tomorrow. I'm ok and back i love you goodnight.
I stole a bike. Here's a pic
She's the drunk girl with the air-horn and sunflower seeds.
Between the walk of shame, bar fight, karaoke, injuries, number of bar check-ins, and variety/quantity of alcohols and Advil consumed, I'd say HookerFest 2012 was a raging success.
tried to out drink an american air force weapons loader. never again
I just feel like everything is too perfect
He's probably a serial killer or chronic masturbator
Or both. Which is common
You showed them your nipple for dollars for the jukebox. You were depressed because only one of your songs played. Oh then you twisted your ankle and blamed it on your mad stripper skills.
No shame in my game.
She's cool and all but if she eats my food again I'm gonna fucking drop kick her ass. No one touches my lunchables. NO ONE.
Holy fuck where did this cat tattoo on my ass come from
I just ate your leftovers whilst watching Garfield and Friends. Thank you across the board.
Quick, I need a picture of your dick. Don't ask questions, just show me your genitals.
Pray for me. I just had a sex dream about Debbie Wasserman-Schultz.
I just learned that I could drop out of school and spend the rest of my savings on a giraffe are you free this weekend
Randomize
