This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
You know, sometimes I seriously doubt your commitment to sparkle motion.
It was like watching Stephen Hawking try to swim.
Ima go for a jog. and I'm going to jog until I throw up a lung. then I'll crawl home.
And at least you didn't have a dinner of Ranch Pringles and Double Stuff Oreos. I forgot that part of being single.
hey your mom heard me say to her " That right your not going to Shit right for a month"
Highlight of my night: you taking that shot of garlic butter and then throwing the empty container down on the stairs and saying FUCK.
That's like.....u just dangled a sex carrot in front of me then took it away!
I told you that you should stop drinking and you responded "Thanks for telling me how to live, North Korea!"
I need to you to send me drugs via FedEx
If I'm going to keep blacking out this much I need to start taking more pictures.
you left your anal beads in the dishwasher
Once upon a time I threw up in my own hands last night.
Let me get this straight. You stopped mid foreplay to shave your legs?
Um yeah. I wasn't about to shave them if nothing was happening. And I have HBO. It's not like he's the victim here.
Can I come over?
Sorry I gave up dick for lent. Hit me up on Good Friday tho
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