This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
he started drinking at 9am with grey goose and pancakes. He IS my hero.
Apparently I was pointing at birds and yelling "YOU USED TO BE A DINOSAUR!!!"
Apparently you get kicked out of gay bars if they catch you putting the entire free condom bowl in your purse.
Are we hungover?
I got a lapdance from a gay guy in red uggs and spandex shorts with reindeer antlers on. And I don't remember it. Hungover does not even cover it.
I guess I could probably fit that in between deep self reflection and teenage mutant ninja turtles
At some point, it turned less into sparring and more into tough guy dry humping.
i ended up eating cold sauceless spaghetti out of the container in the fridge with my hands.
'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight.
Because 9 pm Thursday you drink a loco cause you just wanna get drunk and have a good time with your friends. Then you wake up on Tuesday and you've had 17 locos and you're pregnant, lying on the side of the road, 3 states over. THAT'S why we don't have only locos parties.
I'm gonna send you a dick pic now just so your uncomfortable at work
Honestly you'd think more guys would be happy to date a cute female dealer, but apparently something about safety or whatever
someone in the elevator just told me i looked like a struggle but i smell very pretty..
If you break up with me one more time it's over.
Planning a vacation around my dog. I have become one of those dog moms.
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