There's a girl here with sideburns. I gave her your number, you can thank me later.
is the fantasy fufillment of sex in a hot tub worth the possible infection?
you dont remember trying to break dance in the middle of the casino floor on ur own throw up?
oh that explains alot.
Just facebooked the guy whose name you're yelling in there. So you're aware, his interests include "swearing at babies" and "Ice luge"
dinner is belligerent. she just poured the rest of the pitcher of margaritas into a take home box. people are staring.
Dude I reek of $2.50 pitchers, $1 off/pack marlboro cigs, and fear.
Fear?
FEAR.
Yea, I had a chaperone thankfully. I'm in the fetal position attempting to eat captain crunch now.
Who knew drunk me could climb a 17 story building for apple juice and sex
I need a full description of the guy I hooked up with. I don't think I ever saw his face
he seemed brazillian..
fuck.
You don't know how skeptical I was about letting a guy with braces go down on me
Wow I got tittyfucked by the American Dream
learning about efficiency and effectiveness in an administration seminar. real world application: walking across the street to the pub on break to shotgun a beer.
Apparently I was directing traffic outside of Keeneland. Apparently I'm not a police officer. Who knew....
He gave me a back massage while we were fucking.
Did you get that?
WHILE WE WERE FUCKING.
im mourning your vaginas lack of frictional upkeep
Randomize
