So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
she asked me if i wanted her to take her wedding ring off while she was giving me a handjob.
She literally thanked me for asking before I put in her ass
I just imagined your drunkass eating Taco Bell in my living room. This is the Godmother of my potential child.
I'm glad we have the kind of friendship where if either of us is too drunk to fuck a hot guy, we pass the responsibility to each other and get the job done.
I just re read that. We really need to get our lives together.
I JUST SAW A SIGN LANGUAGE CATFIGHT
So then you challenged the bartender to an arm wrestling contest for a free bottle of vodka
Sweet. Did I win?
Youre hungover arent you?
Your CAR. Is in a LAKE. I'd say "a big mess" is a pretty conservative description of the situation.
Lets have the type of night where its 5am and one of us has definitely punched someone who has been on a Disney Channel show.
I love spring semester, so many high school girls visiting that think I'm the sexiest man alive just because I'm in college
Aren't you gay?
IT'S NICE TO FEEL WANTED DON'T RUIN THIS FOR ME
Well I'm going to San Francisco next weekend for pride. I'm sure I'll end up drunk and on a beach at some point.
and the oscar for 'most creative swearing' goes to you for 'jesus's bloody fucksticks'
One of my favorite March activities is cropdusting people while wearing a kilt.
I think I just got drunk texted by my psychiatrist
Did I tell you I drunk fucked my one roommate last week
Uh no
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