Already tried, she's too smart for that. I need a Primos "Do your wife in the butt" lure/call to trick her into wanting it
And now we have yet another reason to never travel to Detroit
Lucky for you, I found your phone.....Not so lucky for you, it was in the bottom of your vomit-filled trashcan.
Is it bad that I had sex with another guy on my boyfriend's bed while he's out of town?
Just flip the mattress, it erases all
Done and done
I don't think the TSA agent thought getting iced while searching my bag was as funny as I did.
He's Hawaiian. Thank god it wasnt a real American
u know how some weekends you just wanna go out and ruin a relationship? this is one of those weekends
Idk I've been drinking all day and they're having me blow shit up. Like dont let the drunk chick play with fire and explosives. Common sense 101. I will fuck something up
What part of a retired stonemason dealing with your rock hard cock does not sound like you have the wrong number ?
I will read books by day and do guys by night. A mental and physical enlightenment, if you will.
I'm sexting with a 20 year old that has a foot fetish... This is what Sailor Jerry drives me to do.
Took an adderall for the first time in a few weeks. Spent 45 minutes peeling an orange TO PERFECTION.
SPICY FOODS AND BLOWJOBS DON'T MIX.
YOU SAID YOU'D TRY ANYTHING ONCE YOU LIAR
Imma make him fuck me with my jersey on tonight while I chant Go Jets Go. Gotta love playoff hockey szn.
He said my vagina smelled like pomegranates. Its like my vagina is the fountain of youth.
Randomize