dear vagina, thank you for making it so goddamn hard to get pregnant. i love you.
she looks like stephen colbert with that blond wig he was wearing last night.
life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
its like playing clue every morning after we party. she did him in the kitchen with..oh god.
No. I was horrified and confused as to why you thought scrambled eggs and cottage cheese was a good mix
spring break forecast: sunny with a chance of shitshow
My water bill is like twice the normal amount. I need a boyfriend.
Do I even want to know?
he just kept saying "come on iron man, you can do this!" to himself the whole time..
This is the point in ur life where u should realize there's nothing left but a spiral of shame
I should but I don't. All I see is an escalator of success
It's gay softball weekend. Lots of hot gay strangers to go home with.
Aren't you proud to know somebody who texts you "manifold facade" while dumping frozen colada mix into a blender of rum
He licked my mouth. I felt like I was making out with my dog.
I got stoned and explored ice caves with a guy who photographs dildos for a living. I win.
Me and you. The most fucked up people on the planet drinking together. Hell yeah
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
Randomize
