so her cute freckles turned out to be blackheads
if i hurry i can finally have sex while stoned off my ass
godspeed.
Sorry I couldn't get my dick out
Im doing kagels to the beat of Christmas music... "Jingle Bells" is hard. Try it.
I think their strategy was based on people bein at a beach, seein a rainbow, and havin an orgasm at the same time.
I think I'm finally maturing. I'm happy he found someone. Good for him. I sincerely hope she doesn't choke on his tiny penis.
that freshman chick we always see on the weekends walked into art class wearing a jaegermeister shirt and holding a monster, which she proceeded to shotgun with a pair of scissors. It sickens me to know I will never achieve her level
New definition for "rock bottom": Waking up in a puddle of your own puke, missing your fake tooth. Then having to dig through said puddle of puke for aforementioned fake tooth. Think it's time I quit partying so hard.
Is this your way of breaking up with me as my wingman?
I'd be careful with that one, she got 86'd from the family dollar while SOBER.
he told me he could still feel the blowjob i gave him last year
wow. THAT good huh
I woke up in a stranger's bed wearing nothing but santa socks.
You know the sex was rough when you wake up with a chipped tooth. I have no regrets
I don't want to spend an inordinate amount of time with you, I want to have sex with you. Duhhhhhh.
Come on in. I'm butt naked, in the kitchen, eating ice pops
Crop dusting thru forever 21
Randomize
