I have this horrible feeling I'm going to blackout tonight & only be able to say 'wasabi bobby' over & over again.
i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
She found 60 bucks at the strip club. Its probabably been in a vagina but really most money probably has
She made a roadhead CD. Can I marry her?
It's totally ok to sleep with him. The only place I have feelings for him is in my vagina.
Yea, you were talking about how you did not want to be a reindeer for at least 5 minutes.
She insisted we fuck to Ludacris, not how I imagined popping her lesbian cherry would be. I tried delt and I liked it.
Nothing says Merry Christmas like gifting a bottle of rum and finishing it yourself then leaning over at the dinner table to puke it back up.
Bar selfie Saturday turned into bar nudie Saturday in a hurry. I need to delete my snapchat...
First week is awesome. Freshman girls prancing around everywhere like newborn baby deer looking for a dick to jump on
He said he "doesnt care at all, really" if I shave my legs or not. Challenge accepted.
You literally chaperoned my booty call.
My cat took a shit on the guy who passed out in the bathtub
Now, I know I say this a lot, but you've obviously never seen my penis.
The guy in the cage next to me is having phone sex. His girlfriend is in College Library. Why is my life ridiculous.
Randomize
