so, just learned that EVERYONE heard pretty much everything last night. my roommates were surprised to learn you're a dirty talker.
its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
you ever feel like there is a sober person insided you pointing and laughing....?
I threw up into my coffee this morning.
if it walks like a guido and talks like a guido, i'm gonna fuck it.
I just gave head in the laundry room on campus. He said it was one of the best moments in all of history. Take that, neil armstrong.
Pre-order weed for 4/20 and i'll give you a discount.
That's not how these arrangements work. You don't buy each other stuff unless you break a sex toy. End of story.
Beer coozy in the gym. Don't judge me.
I hooked up with some guy to get over my ex last night. I was terrified until we started doing naked pushups.
I had a drink called "the white nun." It tasted like Marshmallows, and celibacy.
A homeless man gave him a blanket and an ambulance drove him to sarahs...
Well I can't be held accountable to know every which time you slid a finger here or slid a finger there. I'm way too busy getting close to climaxing to document these things.
You reeked of guilt and shame and we offered you pancakes
Do you think I could use my teacher of month Award to get free drinks?
Randomize
