Apparently at one point I was wearing my sweatshirt backwards like it was normal and then I threw up into the hood. Never drinking again.
At Coney Island the sign for the rollercoaster The Cyclone says, "Make sure your glasses and weave are secure."
We did like every position then did it again this morning. Something about him being the little boy i used to make sand castles with just made it way hotter.
well done
so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
Not sure. We'll pass out on that bridge when we stumble to it.
Dude the animal human society told us we could get a dog when we came back sober. I cant wait.
Please tell me why your entire hallway smells like microwaved condoms.
I'll reiterate. Best drinking game ever. I shall teach it to my children's children
Pretty sure I asked the person at the pharmacy counter in Walgreens to marry me last night. But also remember Rachel Maddow crawling through the TV screen, so my memory might be a bit compromised...
The sad thing is; I'm getting used to walking around feeling like I could hurl at any minute.
I'm holding onto the sink for dear life. Pretty sure if Iet go I'll turn into a shit propelled man rocket.
Apparently I really was petting a bunny named lazarus in Jimmy Johns last night.
It’s 830 am and the amount of Valentine’s Day snaps I’ve already seen makes me either want to vom, drink a bottle of wine, or buy chocolate
1000% No lie I was just looking on insta and was thinking about taking a bottle of wine to the face..
I love how when he said ecstasy pills both of our heads whipped around like a couple of horned owls.
My head is bruised from having sex in the backseat of an explorer last night.
Randomize
