We better get laid next semester cause I prayed hard
I even walked 30 feet with my eyes closed from two love rocks so that we get some cock
he fingered me, smelled his fingers, then asked me what i ate today..
You have more facebook pictures than most towns have people.
I'm drinking keystone with a homeless man I found. It's making me feel uncomfortable.
You said your dick dragged you up the stairs
Trying to low-key throw up in the ocean is harder than it seems.
You used up your allotted blow job minutes for the month of April last night anyways
you know i have almost 1500 fb friends but not ONE drunk booty call?
I walked home with him, but I had to pee...so I did...as we walked. He was so drunk he didn't even notice. Good thing I was in a dress.
I may or may not vaguely recall punching you in the dick but it was a misunderstanding and I forgive you can we have make up sex?
Like I want to yell at him for pissing on my floor but there's still a chance its my pee....
He walked into the bar with a pineapple and they served him AND the pineapple
I hummed the theme from jaws while she was taking the pregnancy test....needless to say she was not pleased
I swear I have some evil slut demon in me when I'm blacked out
Don't we all.
He climbed on the counter and announced it was time for something called The Cocktacular and all the girls immediately left. He cockblocked the entire fraternity!
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