Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
for our anniversary he stepped it up a notch and bought cool whip rather than the store brand. i was impressed.
I wish sober me loved running as much as drunk me...
she's bipolar. she literally has TWO facebook pages. one for each personality. this. bitch. is. crazy.
He posted on my wall. Idk if I'm ready for that big of a commitment.
OMG. if college stays like this, theres no way i wont be pregnant by first semester
Just for future reference: milk is NOT a good mixer no matter how drunk you are.
sitting on my lesbian neighbors couch, sexting, & eating a burrito.. that single
Amazing. Super drunk. We stole a street sign in a golf cart and went around jousting trash cans all night.
She could makes a perfectt roast dinner drunk but she nearly sets the kitchen alight microwaving popcorn.
I can't figure out how to eat twizzlers and I have to be at a wedding reception in an hour.
Please never have kids.
My memory of last night is a delicious blur of tits, ass, and alcohol.
orgy was averted by karaoke, thank god
Does sweetest day count when you're spending it with your fuck buddy, high and eating Pizza Hut?
If I'm gonna have a rotation of guys, I really should stop them leaving boob bruises...
Randomize
