you're like a bully in the Christmas story
he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
its officail im naming my first born child brickbreaker
I have fb friend requests from two random swedish brothers... Must have something to do with that hostel I stumbled into on mardi gras
I justified spending $400 stocking my bar to my sister by saying it was an investment
Personally I think it's a tremendous investment
everyone thought he was too sick to make it, but he showed up. Ten minutes in and he's doing vodka shots with nyquil chasers
trading diseases for a hangover? that's either a really good decision or a really, really bad one. we'll find out if he wakes up tomorrow
I'm laying in my house looking at chocolate pudding drip from the ceiling onto my partially erect penis... Yay for shrooms!
But I mean, have you ever just LOOKED at how majestic penises are? They are like ivory columns of pure wonder!
The novelty of Nekkid Straight Roommate has faded.
I think that thing where I have 2 boyfriends is happening again
But there's never enough margarita money.
This is going to be one of those situations where we lose a day, isn't it
I said his dick tasted like a Hawaiian Sweet Roll. And then I yelled MAHALO.
well i don't know if 30 seconds is exactly a good time but at least he bought me breakfast
Concept: I never actually flirt with anyone, I'm just a bitch and some people find it endearing
the guy next to you kind of looks like a penguin. i'm going to fuck him
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