I hit 10,000 texts this month.. I think my grandkids have carpal tunnel.
I told you it's awful. It looks like he was eating honey at a barbershop and tripped.
i feel like everytime i say im going to quit drinking someone comes along with a better idea about drinking
Trying to convince my mother to let me take some of my sisters Lortab to sell is not going well
He made me a "booty call of the year" award.
The poor thing was so drunk they wheeled his motorcycle into the bar. I just dropped him off to pick it up. The best walk of shame ever.
DO NOT EAT ONE OF DONOVANS WEED RICE CRISPIES. I REPEAT DO NOT EAT IF YOU VALUE YOUR EYE BALLS
I puked on myself in front of a customer. all. over. myself. thanks Saturday nights
Two questions for you. Did I throw up last night and did we get food or did I dream that..?
No you never threw up but you did force me to take you to wendy's because you wanted "beef and ketchup"
And I'm determined to make an Eiffel Tower happen sometime. I just don't know who will take the pic (first world sex problem?)
I just want to be like i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it
yesterday pre dick pic he said "no disrespect to your situation but i cant wait to get ahold of you again in the future" is this how people network??
You're officially the most high maintenance man I've ever had inside me.
So, I never imagined myself puking on the side of the road at 10:30 this morning to Lynyrd Skynyrd but here I am.
you put your dick on my shoulder this morning like it was a fucking parrot
Randomize
