You should've come with us, we're at Home Depot looking for men.
i went to throw her on my bed and threw her straight in to my bike
they almost convinced me to put "Funbags" in the 'other names you may be known as' section of the job application
She slept with 4 other guys since we went on a break. And her ex. But apparently she hasn't given any bjs out of respect for me. Why does that comfort me?!
As a matter of fact you told me i fulfilled your "woodshop teacher fantasy"
I chased a girl up a staircase screaming because she had a cardboard cut out of James Dean which, at the time, I believed to my friend being held against his will
They have some sort of agreement that they can sleep with other people if it helps then achieve their goal, or something like that
How awkward
Yeah it's pretty fucked up
Well, that was my first dog walk of shame. Nothing says "I've got my life together" like an inside out shirt and a baggie full of dog shit.
My mom just told me she would flash her tits to a cop to get me out of jail, and then we high-fived.
Oh god. I just had a sex dream about the talking dog from the Bush's Baked Beans commercials.
I may or may not have pissed on my floor last night
Welcome to 22
Shaving your bikini line at 11 at night in the Walmart bathroom feels trashy no matter why you're doing it.
He serenaded me say anything-style with Weird Al songs and then blew me on the beach. I'd say he's a keeper.
Wait is this place where the strippers are missing teeth and I think one is missing a thumb? Though I don't know how she would maneuver on the pole without a thumb. Pls advise.
I've been getting a lot of emails from patron lately for being a great customer. Is that awesome, or should I start thinking about seeking help?
Randomize
