Did u know that at any givin time there r 46,948,952 drunk people in the world? Were not alone
too bad they don't have a 'people you may be able to do' thing on facebook. it would save me a lot of fucking time.
just got drunk at a party with Christmas themed solo cups.. holidays are officially here.
this just has baby written all over it
Just threw up my room service breakfast with my fake eyelashes and pearls still on.
Yes, I am watching The Hills Have Thighs. And yes it is a porno remake of The Hills Have Eyes. And, again, yes, lesbian sex in the desert. Get the sand out.
last night i found out that my 11 year old cousin used me as an example of what not to do in her D.A.R.E. speech. awesome.
Apple Jack is not a good idea for breakfast. Whiskey can't replace milk.
he fucked my hip out of place.
There are 18k people at the game and I'm next to the one guy who pulls his underwear down to his ankles to piss.
Virginity is like the pottery barn-you break it, you bought it.
Thanks....I've always wanted my vagina compared to an overpriced coffee table
you got to sleep with him and don't even remember it? that's like sleeping through an entire vacation
I found you laying in a field of grass near the trail I jog on in the morning like a drunken Bambi.
We had sex on the tiger blanket while I was wearing my Ukrainian shirt and my ass touched the Ukrainian flag. Happy 25th Ukraine!
color coded lube a great way to organize my bootie calls
Randomize
